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Dating & Relationships
Sexting, the Misunderstood Hero of Intimacy, has the power to transform your desires into reality. It's not just a naughty pastime or a sleazy activity confined to teenagers. It's a gateway to honest conversations about sex—the kind most people shy away from like they owe it money. Sexting is here to save the day, helping you in the creation and alignment of your fantasies, unleashing your sexual power, and allowing for fulfilling sexual encounters & relationships based on communication and trust.
Sexting is not about a momentary release or fulfilling someone else's impulsions. It's an opportunity to advocate for your pleasure and collaborate with your partner to fulfill erotic dreams. By building attraction and sexual tension, sexting sets the stage for explosive encounters when you reunite. It allows you to discover new and exciting elements within your sexual templates, unveiling yourself & your partner in a new light.
Sexting serves as a platform for open communication and deepening trust and self-confidence in all areas of your relationship. It’s a practice in active listening, where you learn to pay attention to your partner’s needs. In turn, your partner's poor responses can also serve as a great red flag to dodge that bullet of a relationship!
matters to you. It also gives them the opportunity to set their comfort level.
Well-placed questions such as “What makes that hot for you?” can
simultaneously help you defer when you find yourself unsure of how to respond.
→ Pro Tip: Listening to erotic audios, or reading erotica can be a great source of inspiration for everyone. It can also help bring awareness to the female gaze as opposed to mainstream porn made from the male gaze.
Many individuals find it challenging to express their erotic desires to their partners, but sexting provides a safe and playful space to shed societal expectations and personal shame surrounding sexuality.
In all long-term, long-distance, and new relationships, sexting serves as an ongoing connection that infuses eroticism into everyday life.
Only get into a sexting sesh if you know you have the time to be engaged. It can be super unsexy and nerve wracking when you send a nude or a risky text and your partner falls asleep or puts the phone down, leaving you anxious as hell. Be thoughtful of what your partner is doing at the time. Don’t send a sex in the middle of an important or unrelated conversation. Think, does this person trust and feel safe with me yet? Many people do not like to sext outside of a relationship, or at least before meeting the person. If your timing is wrong, it could negate any sexual attraction the person did have for you.
Prioritizing safety and consent is crucial when engaging in sexting.
Permission to Send, Permission to Receive: Always ask for permission before sending explicit messages or images. Randomly firing off unsolicited content is sexual harassment. Just because you got the go-ahead to sext once doesn’t mean you have a free pass to send explicit messages at any time (unless that was already discussed & agreed upon). Never forward or share sexual content of anyone without their consent. Sharing is not caring when it comes to someone's privacy and well-being.
The best way to prevent any uncomfortable moments is to continuously check in with your partner. It can be as simple as asking, "Do you like that?" or "How do you feel when I tell you I want to do this to you?" If the response is positive it also deepens the fantasy.
Set Boundaries: Discuss what happens to messages, photos, or videos once the fantasy is complete. Establish guidelines on when and where sexting is appropriate. Clarify if these are only fantasies or something you’d actually like to bring to the bedroom. Never assume what's discussed in fantasyland is necessarily what your partner wants in real life without consent. If you find yourself feeling like sexting is a chore or is just not arousing for whatever reason… act on that gut feeling! Stop, let your partner know how you’re feeling or that you’re busy, or guide them in how you like to sext.
Many of us, particularly women, are trained to appease, resign, and surrender. Do you ever sext to appease your partner and submit to their horniness? They jerk off in bed, meanwhile you couldn’t be less aroused…doing groceries or putting on a face mask and eating Thai food in bed. This could occur out of bad timing, or because they’re sexting style does not consider your sexual palette. If you don’t want to engage in sexting, then don’t!
Reminisce on past sexual interactions with your partner. Send those 😏🍑😈🥵💦emojis and tell them what you want them to do with it.
You can also do this by starting with naughty words, then a photo, then a photo with less clothes, or level it up to a video. Mention your favorite body parts. Use graphic detail. Roleplay.
"What's a sexual fantasy you’ve always had but never tried?”
“I wish you were here”
“I'm so wet/hard for you”
“Do you like how it feels when I XYZ?”
“I just want to pin you against the wall and XYZ…if that’s okay with you 😉”
“Woke up thinking about you riding my face the other day, wish I was with you now…”
“I want you to come for me baby…but not until I give you permission…”
Continue to tease with words or videos and don't let them come until you've built it up enough and had your fun.
“Mmm good girl/boy”
“Tell me more/then what”
“I want to hear you say my name as you cum…send me a voice recording”.
Don’t shame them, redirect them! “Then I’m gonna push you down on the table and XYZ…would you like that?” “Actually it turns me on more if you picked me up and pushed me against the wall instead 😉”
With these techniques in your arsenal, you'll become a sexting superstar and leave your partner begging for more! Go get 'em horn dogs!
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