Sexual Health & Wellness
We’re all for the power of education and acceptance. Whether it be a new found kink, exploring our sexuality, or discussing our discharge! There is one thing however, that shouldn’t be normalized in sex education - our experiences with chronic pain.
For so many of us, “It’s just normal” will have been part of the narrative of growing up and experiencing periods. And let’s be honest, it’s about time we challenged this. Quite often, this genito-pelvic pain can be caused by Endometriosis, Vulvodynia, or other chronic conditions. So why is it that conditions that impact 10% of AFAB people’s lives globally on a daily basis has become such an invisible topic, both in medicine, and beyond? March is Endometriosis awareness month, so we’re here to break down what chronic pain can look like when it relates to sex and our sexual organs.
A lot of these conditions include “dyspareunia”- which is the medical term for a sexual pain disorder, defined as persistent or recurrent genital pain that occurs just before, during or after sex. In short, not a fun experience for anyone. But what are some of these conditions, and how do they impact people’s lives?
Endometriosis, sometimes called "endo," is a common health problem in people with a uterus. It is caused when tissue similar to the lining of the uterus grows outside of your uterus and in other areas in your body where it doesn't belong, such as the fallopian tubes or ovaries. Symptoms can include extensive or irregular bleeding, fatigue, and pelvic pain. An estimated 176 million Women and people who have uteruses are affected worldwide.
Vulvodynia is chronic vulvar pain without an identifiable cause. The location, constancy and severity of the pain varies among sufferers. Some people experience pain in only one area of the vulva, while others experience pain in multiple areas. Things that can aggravate symptoms of vulvodynia include, using tampons, having vaginal sex, or medical exams. Of course, it’s impossible to mention these conditions, without touching upon their Cyst-ers, PCOS and Vaginismus.
Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS), is a common health problem caused by an imbalance of hormones. This hormonal imbalance causes the egg to not develop as it should or it may not be released during ovulation as it should be, which can in turn cause painful or irregular periods and can also lead to symptoms such as extra hair growth, acne, weight gain and more. PCOS, alongside these other conditions are becoming more commonly discussed - with the #PCOS hashtag gaining more than 5.5 billion views on Tiktok!
If you’ve watched Sex Education on Netflix, you may recognise Vaginismus, thanks to the amazing storyline about Lily! Vaginismus is often described as a “penetration disorder” and causes people to experience an involuntary spasm of their vaginal muscles, which causes pain. This is believed to be an unconscious reaction to the fear of oncoming vaginal penetration. Vaginismus often causes dyspareunia and it can even make inserting tampons, gynecologic exams or intercourse impossible.
Have you ever been to a doctor’s visit and been told “I don’t think that’s anything to worry about”? For many people who experience these debilitating conditions, this is a very real, and very sad reality.
It is important to note that conditions such as Endometriosis can be difficult to diagnose! Every person experiences this condition differently, and because symptoms can be similar to other illnesses such as IBS, it is often overlooked. Vulvodynia is also a bit of an odd one, because doctors don’t actually know how to find or identify a “cause”. PCOS symptoms are often generalized as “just being to do with hormones”, And we bet you’ve heard that before! Not to mention, diagnosis for trans and non binary people can be a minefield, with this area of medicine still being very binary and dismissive of trans experience.
These conditions can be truly debilitating for the people who experience them, and to make things worse, the time in which people are waiting to find answers, and get an official diagnosis - is often an agonizing wait! It takes on average 8 years to gain a diagnosis for endometriosis. And that is a privilege. Hundreds of thousands of people with these conditions will not have access to a diagnosis, the relevant healthcare, or support when it comes to living with these problems.
When speaking to someone who has recently received an endometriosis diagnosis in the UK; she explained that after years of constant pain, several screenings, differing opinions and even a blood transfusion - being put on the waitlist for surgery felt more deflating than relieving.
Outside of not being listened to by medical professionals, there’s a level of silence when it comes to talking about these conditions too. It’s estimated that approximately 15% of people with vulva’s will suffer with chronic vulvar pain at some point in their lives, why are we not talking about this!
For women, the story we’ve been told for years is that sex shouldn’t be “pleasurable” which may play into this casual expectation that sex might equate to pain. This is also a view that also places penetrative and heteronormative sex at the pinnacle of sexual experience - which we know 1) isn’t the case for most people 2) is something that can directly result in dyspareunia for those who suffer with it.
For those who have periods, the understanding that heavy periods and cramps are “normal” is like a broken record! Periods should not be excessively heavy or painful, yet many of us grow up with a parent stating that their periods are heavy or painful too. Not to mention growing up around environments and people that don't encourage open conversations around periods, years in school hiding period products up sleeves or in pockets, and media promoting stereotypes of PMSing women who are grumpy or “overreacting”. This can lead to shame around having conversations with partners, friends and family - let alone doctors!
The good news is, there is lots more being done, both in society, and medicine, to break down these barriers.
More research is being done than ever on these experiences, and multiple studies have shone a spotlight on the disparity when it comes to taking womens and AFAB people’s conditions seriously. There are also more sexologists and sexual therapists than ever, who are helping people to address these conditions from both a mental and physical health standpoint.
There is now so much more social commentary about sexual health, chronic conditions. Check out creators like The Endo Space, to see how people are opening up about their conditions to raise awareness and start a real conversation about endo, PCOS and more. Search for hashtags like #endoandme #PCOSconciousqueens and #vulvarpain to find information and personal experiences on your socials, and this can be great for awareness and a sense of community!
Ever heard of outercourse? We know that there are so many more ways to enjoy sex and intimacy, without having to experience penetration. From how outercourse can improve your bond with a partner to how it could become an integral part of your BDSM routine, you can find out everything you need to know about outercourse in our all inclusive guide!
-1668426971.png)
